🎵 This week’s anthem: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” (sung off-key in the key of Dave). 🎵
"Here's a little song I wrote for Myles
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry
Be happy
Zaph' inspired remix:
“In every life we have some trouble
But when you fail to grapple (Zaph) you make it double
Don’t worry
Be happy, don’t worry, be happy now.”
Craig added his verse, which was less lyrical and more tragic:
“Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Craig forgot to build a bed
Don’t worry
Be happy.”
Dave, naturally, brought the gravitas of a Bene Gesserit karaoke night:
“The Landsraad say your rent is late
He may send the Sardaukar to kick in your gate
But don’t worry
Be happy, look at me, I’m happy.”
"Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no Thopter to make you smile
But don't worry
Be happy
And me? I sat there wondering why every one of our “theme songs” doubles as my personal obituary.
The Errand-Running of the Four Horsemen
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We tidied up chores for our Atreides overlords, which is just Dune-speak for “fetch quests with extra sand.”
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Paid our taxes (Dave insisted it builds “reputation.” I suspect it just builds bureaucracy).
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Zaph forgot how grapples work, channeling his inner John Cleese — all long limbs, mounting fury, and the distinct sense he was about to start shouting at the wall for insubordination..
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Craig struck out into the deep desert and proudly announced his new base. Features include: no bed, no water, and no toilet. A true desert Airbnb.
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Dave went full peacock, scouring ruins for “shiny fabrics” so he could reskin himself into House Atreides’ answer to Milan Fashion Week.
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And finally, we also unlocked the great and mighty Stilltent Achievement™.
Now, the lore implies this should be a rugged, life-or-death test of endurance — trekking into the deep desert, setting up camp under the cruel Arrakeen stars, moisture reclaimers hissing while you pray the worms don’t sniff you out.
Naturally, we pitched ours ten metres from base, right at the bottom of the ramp leading to the vehicle bay. True pioneers. Shackleton who?
The ritual went like this:
• Dave went in, came out, passed the sacred stilltent to Craig.
• Craig went in, came out, passed it to me.
• I went in, came out, passed it to Zaph.
• Zaph went in, came out, achievement unlocked for all.
And thus, the proud lineage of hardy desert survivalists was complete — without ever straying out of range of the base Wi-Fi..
If last week was flaming death, demon possession, and exploding plasma rifles, this week was… sand housekeeping. A lull. A calm. A nothing really interesting happened sort of session. Which, given our usual track record, should terrify everyone.
Because if nothing happened, that means the universe is winding up something big.
Probably involving a worm.
Or Craig.
Or both.
