Saturday, April 20, 2024

In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream—Unless You're Craig Turning Up the Difficulty!


Tonight we jumped into the future and joined the Helldivers, as disposable citizens of Supreme Earth, we travelled to the frontlines of interstellar war on a mission to liberate planets from the bugs and automatons.   And yes there is friendly fire in the game, and no it isn't friendly Craig.   And when we say don't buy or use the Anti-personnel mines we freaking mean it!!!!

We learn't many lessons that were not covered in basic training:

Orbital strikes add new meaning to the term Danger Close! 

If you hold onto Grenades too long they will detonate in your hand. 

Don't run in front of your squad-mates green laser pointer that shows where they are shooting

There is no such thing as overkill, only I am out of grenades

When the drop ship says it is leaving in 20 seconds, it means it.   And 4 people can't all get on at the same time

It takes two baby - to open those hidden secure caches

Do NOT walk in front of the auto turret

You can never bring too much ammunition

DONT LISTEN TO CRAIG - when he says turn up the difficulty

Our new CCF expression is Cover Me While I Reload!

And yes in the future, there is shopping


Don't step outside...