Mindflayer Mayhem: The Madcap March to Myles's Monstrous Metamorphosis!

 Friday night - where to start, an epic and long journey awaited us. We started as we always do with shopping, although pre-warned with knowledge the city of Baldurs Gate was not safe, we went back to the outskirts, unloaded our junk and stocked up on potions. Back to camp for a long rest, before we started out on what we hoped would be the final leg of our journey to stop the elder brain.

 We teleported to the sigil closest to the morphic pool, and climbed into a flimsy boat to paddle down river. Our worst fears were realised when a stalactite broke free from the roof, and plunging down destroyed our boat. You already know dwarves can't swim, especially when wearing full plate armor. To our surprise Zaph popped to the surface and swam ashore.  Things are getting weirder and weirder.  We explored around, pausing only to deal with an ambush of mind stalkers.

 Finally the pool was before us, Zaph advanced confidently netherstones clutched in his grimy fist, and then at long last we confronted our foe as the elder brain floated up out of the pool and demanded we hand over the stones - Zaph using his indomitable will resisted (easy peasy), then tried to strike the Elder brain down (fail, fail, fail, epic fail).  The Elder brain sensing it had won - monologued and explained how we had been its pawns all along, how the chosen had worked to its plan, how the Emperor himself was another pawn it had set free.

 Then it transformed into a Netherbrain (well that sucks). Zaph tried to defy it again, when the Emperor appeared and transported us to safety in the Astral plane.

 Well shit just got real, time for a new plan. The emperor was quick to declare our only choice was to give him the netherstones so he could consume Orpheus and use all that power to defeat the netherbrain.

 Zaph was quick to point out that that trick never works.  The Emperor asked if we had a better plan, and we suggested we could use the Orphic Hammer to free Orpheus (its in the name) and see if he had a plan.

 The Emperor was not impressed, monologued about how he had saved us, protected us, given Myle's the best tentacular sex ever, etc, etc, etc. We explained he had also lied to us from the get go, plus we watched the tentacle sex through the portal and frankly, we have seen better.  The Emperor declared if we aren't with him, we are against him and left to join the Netherbrain.

 So a few quick whacks and Orpheus is free, and not at all impressed with our tadpole infested help. His plan is it takes a mind-flayer to defeat the netherbrain, so he could loosen the protection just a tad and we could be transformed, then protected once again.  Zaph said he needed to think about it.  So we had a quick chat, Myle's of course thinking tentacles are the best fashion statement ever told Orpheus he was up for the job.

 Stuff happens and we are amazed at Myle's floaty, tentacular form.  With alfoil in place to stop Myles reading our thoughts or eating our brains we head off to defeat the Netherbrain.

 We arrive back in Baldurs gate to find the Netherbrain hovering above the ruins of the city, Mindflayer ships abound and red dragon on the attack. We quickly regroup with the flaming fist (city guard) and the allies we have gathered through the journey who have pledged to help us.  Some shopping, then onward where we fight through multiple groups of Mind flayers and their allies with the help of our summons, Orpheus and a few of our allies.  At last we arrive at the tallest tower in the land and begin our ascent to the Netherbrain, except this time it brought artillery. We try to hide from the artillery, slowly advance, fend off the attack of Mindflayers only to have our progress drag to a halt.  Things are starting to look dicey, Orpheus gets blown off a wall, our elementals are down, only Myles can save us. He flys up a level, sprints to the door opens it and heads to the Mind Flayer healing pod thingy.  Where in some weird gaming logic we also join him including Orpheus.

 We climb up the brain stalk (gross) to be confronted by the Emperor, 6 of his flayer buddies, the biggest red dragon we have ever seen and assorted other critters.  The clock is running out as we shiv the emperor, distract the dragon with our allies, and scream at Myles to stop shooting stuff and get to the effing crown already.  Myles flys ahead, confronts the crown (oh yeah, it would have been helpful if we were there to aid him), and holds off the mind blasts of the desperate mind flayers to open a portal.   He jumps through the portal to confront the netherbrain, a new countdown starts, Zaph jumps through as Craig (remot piloted as he had disconnected and couldn't rejoin) and Dave race to join him.  Dave is protected by Sanctuary so he wont be attacked, and Craig has minions distracting the mind flayers. Myles's buddy also races towards the portal, inconveniently standing near Dave so any AOE attacks will also hit him.  And they oblige, the red dragon unleashes its fiery breath, and a couple of mind flayers blast away, ensuring Dave and Orpheus wont we joining the fight.

 Myles, Zaph, Craig and a few summoned allies manage to overcome the Netherbrain before the clock runs out, ordering it to kill its tadpoles and itself. The dead brain (with us aboard) crashes into the river.

  Cut to victory celebrations, you see everyday people take up the fight and slaughter the remaining mind flayers. Craig vows to destroy the remainder of Bhaals cult, Myles decides to use his new powers for good, Dave is off to hell to fight alongside Karlach (as her infernal engine can't survive on the surface), Astarion develops an allergy to sunlight, Wyll offered to come to hell but we convinced him to stay in the city.

 Zaph must be wenching as he totally skipped the end scene.  Orpheus is off to fight Vlakith and vows his people will never forget what Myles has done for them.

 We cut to the hells to see Dave and Karlach readying for a fight with approaching imps …..

 6 months go by and Withers calls us all through a portal to reminisce … and that is where we call it a night.

Of Netherstones and Necromancy: The Misadventures of a Misplaced Relic

Friday started like any other Friday, you go to camp, catch up with friends, tell tall tales, wake up covered in vines (Craig!!!!), and check around to see who has been murdered in their sleep this time.  Then a little therapeutic shopping, before the adventure continues.

Having dealt with Gortash, we checked to make sure we were carrying everything we needed for the big finale - arrows (check), sharpened swords (check), healing potions (check), scrolls (check), 2 netherstones (oops - has anyone seen what we did with the first netherstone we found?), Orphic hammer (check), camp supplies (250 days worth - check).

So its off to find Orin for the duel she challenged us to, first get the Bhaalspawn tick of approval from their council in the sewers.   Why is it always the sewers, there is enough shit to deal with in life, without having to swim through it to find some secret murderous cult.   A bit of fluffing around to find the secret door, it turns out Craig's fire elemental can talk (to doors).  The council is made up of all the failed chosen of Bhaal over the centuries (there is a free chair for Craig).   A bit of monologuing and it turns out Orin (who deposed Craig) is the Granddaughter of the Bhaalspawn who was the baddie in BG2.  After apologising to Craig for saying Orin is his sister, it's off to the trial where Craig rips the trunk off an oliphant, then robs its luggage, and has a bath in a ppol of blood (so the usual really).

We head out for the challenge, but Orin cheats and has her Bhally assassins ambush us, they are all up high around the chamber, (whilst we have the low ground), they pepper us with arrows then go invisible (rubbing salt into our wounds), Dave as usual just teleports up to a ledge getting in Myles's way (no wonder he shoots Dave so often), so Myles hops up as well and blows one of the ambushers off the ledge to their death.   On the other side of the room, an elemental and Craig warp up high to play with those ambushers whilst shorty (Zaph) attempts to walk to the guy we need to kill.  Craig's fire elemental is confused and just jumps around the room (as their are no doors to talk to), but next round after 3 more assassins appear up  high, it warps to their room and they all explode.   After a bit of back and fro, the assassins return the favour and shove Craig off a cliff killing him.  Zaph is still walking to try and get into the fight, Myles is flying around the room looking for the perfect place to take a shot, Dave is stuck at the back trying to kill someone.   Zaph asks "What does Power Word Kill do?" so the boss guy demonstrates on Myles (insta kill, its like the time that friend of the gold dragon used finger of death on Craig, but more talky, less pointy).  And then there were 2.  Dave with one resurrection scroll has to decide, (Myles or Craig), so he misty steps over to ..... Myles (not a tough choice, there is more cover near Myles).   And then there were 3.  Zaph is delayed by some wimpy dudes on the bridge and the bad guy can't decide who to splat next.  Oh yeah, some ares kicking ensues (their arse our feet) and we finally bring Craig back from the dead, (back to not being able to get through a door for all the minions).   All this teleporting is so exhausting, so its back to camp for a sleep.

A new day dawns (just like every other day - leave camp, descend stairs, Craig gets us into a fight).  This time its mind rats, 50 rats vs us plus us (Myles pet - who is no mind cat), Craig pulls out his trusty spike growth and we stand back and watch the rats scamper to death, apart from all the ones on Craig's side of the fight.  Turns out killing rats is very confusing (which fits our play style) and Craig's pets beat each other up (which is a change from them attacking our pets).  More exploring, we find the confrontation with Orin, after some conversation with Craig's weird demonic friend.  Orin also brought along a few buddies who you can't hit (Damn you Sanctuary), and Myles flys to high ground to position for the fight. (Prep work, who kidnapped Myles at our last sleep and replaced him with this person?)  Orin also prepped and has Zarael tied to the altar for sacrifice (Don't worry Zarael we will save you).  The usual monologuing ensues with Craig (as usual) picking whichever option seems to piss Orin off the most. (your grandfather is your father, no really he is).

Bhaal declares Orin his champion so she turns into a big ugly, then jumps on Craig (and kills Zarael - oops), Myles returns fire and blows a cultist off the ledge (take that Sanctuary), and big rock face of Bhaal (yes that's a thing) gives Orin immunity to the next 7 blows (that's not cricket).  We knock a few more cultists off the ledge (go team), whilst Zaph whales on Orin.  Then Bhaal repeats the immunity thing (that is annoying), so next rounds Myles repositions and shoots Bhaal face (no effect), Dave misty steps over and gives Bhaal Face the big radiant flame (no effect), and things are going downhill fast.  Zaph is whittling Orin down 2 hp at a time (179 to go).  Craig was doing something (lucky he has it on video so if we ever want to know what he did in the fight we can check).  Myles blows another cultist off the edge with thunder arrow (except he saved - twice), Dave declares it's the way they Shatter that matters and casts Shatter on Bhaal face (who saves - progress).  The next shatter gets through and Bhaal face takes 0 damage and makes Orin immune (again).  Next round it's focus everything on Orin, with Zaph going last (it's not just walking he is slow at), everyone unloads on Orin to strip her immunity, Myles knocks off 2, Craig another, Dave unloads magic missile for 4 more, and finally Zaph can bring the divine smite down on the bitch.  Rinse and repeat and it's all over except for crowning Craig champion of Bhaal.  He declines, Bhaal drains him of blood and Craig is deader than something (words fail me).  What now?

We barely have time to loot before Withers saves the day.  Apparently Withers is tired of Craig lying around never helping (so he monologues ... blah blah defied Bane ... Blah blah ... resurrection).  But he can't do that for Zarael (who is cute in a Githyanki sort of way if you are into that - which Dave is).  So we leave Dave crying inconsolably over Zarael and loot Orin's bedroom.