So last friday we finished picking up all the loot from the house of grief , raided their armory, found a secret cave that Shadowheart used to play in, looked behind door number 3 for a vendor, found ShadowHearts bestie and killed her, explored down behind door number 2 and found ShadowHeart's parents and left them hanging around, played Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who is the worst dice roller of all. Then it was back to town to offload our ill-gotten gains, buy arrows and back to camp for a nap. Bored, we decided what the hell, let us do a snatch-and-grab raid on the house of hope in the nine hells and steal all Raphael's loot. So back to Baldurs Gate to find a Demonologist, we paid $20k for directions on how to open a portal to hell, how hard can it be. We also discovered this was not the first Smash and Grab raid on a Demonlord treasure vault for one of our party. Something you want to tell us Craig (aka Dark Urge), aka looted Mephistoles vault for the crown and started all this mess - WTF???
So now we have arrived, its hot, damned hot, we met Hope a translucent projection who explained how things worked, disguised us to look like the other lost souls, gave us directions and an explanation on where the best stuff can be found, and all she asked for in return was to be rescued. She did mention we needed to be quick, it would get really hot, so we rummaged through our bags and drank elixirs of fire resistance.
We made our way to the archives, talked to the archivists, and convinced him we were Zariels buddy doing a surprise inspection and he showed us around. Ooh Shinies. Unfortunately, the Orphic Hammer was protected by a force field that required a password to unlock it. So off to Raphael's boudoir to rummage through his draws looking for clues. The bad news, we really wanted to tell Raphael to go F$#K himself, but it turns out he already does that. Zaph turned down the naked fight option with Rapheals pet Incubus (looks like Raphael), and its on like Donkey Kong. A very short fight later, a dip in the restorative pool and we looted the room and got the keyword. Craig picked up some fancy demonic underwear off the Incubus, so we are in for a rude surprise next time we go to camp to sleep. Back to the archive, there are 4 of us and 3 super cool items to loot, so we sent Craig and his minions off to find the exit (knowing he would get lost and we would have to leave him behind because you can't split 3 items, 4 ways. Some sacrifices just have to be made). We grabbed the amulet, gloves, and hammer simultaneously, then as all hell broke loose its time to skeddadle out of there. We ran to the foyer, as the place burned, no time to kill the minions who get bigger if you do, Craig is at the exit, and the rest of us headed the other direction because we still have to rescue Hope. A lot of running, and sweating and we made it to the dungeon. Unfortunately, our secret plan to leave Craig behind fails and he catches up via Dimension door.
Now all we have to do is rescue Hope and leave, how hard can that be, well those angry Beholders might have something to say about that. A few arrows, some minions, and a bit of Crystal smashing (as you do) and she is free at last rescued from hundreds of years of torture. And all she cares about is her looks - vanity thy name is Gold Dwarf Woman (#3). Zaph is smitten (he is also a short stumpy guy) and she follows him around. We check the map to find the quickest path back to the exit and promptly get distracted by a large sign saying "Raphael's treasure room". Zaph and Craig are off running, climbing cliffs, going through tunnels, and Dave and Myles are left to tag along. Did we mention Hell Spheres - those just may be the toughest things we have fought yet, they roll around leaving a trail of hellfire, and if you stand in that even the elixir of fire resistance can't protect you (yes we are looking at you ZAPH!!!!). With that done we head to the exit.
Stay tuned for our next exciting party - escaping from the halls of hell, or as we call it - "No no, that was some other group of adventurers who looted the place ... what this hammer, these gloves and amulet, we found those lying around ... Bye Bye).
No comments:
Post a Comment