A Tale of Skulls, Shrooms, and Death Markers

Our noble band of adventurers—Dave, Zaph, Craig, and yours truly, Myles—set off once again, brimming with optimism and, as usual, a rapidly dwindling supply of skull bombs. We did manage to destroy three, maybe four shroud mushrooms, though Craig reminded us why this is never straightforward with the insightful observation: "I forgot they have a bunch of monsters around these."

Classic Craig.

He followed that up with his oft-repeated catchphrase, "I'm dead," delivered with his trademark mixture of surprise and inevitability. The night was also punctuated by my own profound insight: "Of course, we’ve all run off in different directions." Naturally, the rest of the group, from their shared corner of the map, replied, "It’s only one direction. The three of us are here, where are you?"

Ah, teamwork.

We could always count on Zaph for wisdom, though: "I will have the fancy pants," he declared, adding a touch of sartorial elegance to the carnage. But as skull-summoning is something of a lifesaver (literally), we found ourselves back at Spider House to make more bombs. Of course, being the resourceful planners we are, we were out of ingredients. This may have something to do with my tendency to toss skulls like popcorn at the cinema, a lesson I’ve been slow to internalize.

After some intense scholarly research (okay, a quick look-up), I discovered we needed ectoplasm fragments. Because why wouldn’t we? So off we went, rummaging through bone piles, eventually securing enough to craft a few skull-summoning bombs and, because you never know when you’ll need one, a skeleton key. As true adventurers, we then ventured into yet another unknown hallowed hall—because, apparently, one was not enough.

We scrambled across hills, finally setting up a charming little outpost overlooking what can only be described as the Valley of Death. Naturally, I asked, "What's the plan?" Dave, in his infinite wisdom, promptly hurled himself off a ledge into a swarm of enemies, shouting, "Follow me!" Like lemmings, we did.

Fast-forward a few centuries, and future archeologists are likely still puzzling over the numerous red death markers we left in that hall. Skulls were thrown, ectoplasm was sacrificed, and the evening ended with us thoroughly battered, bruised, and questioning our life choices.

To wrap things up, Craig suggested finishing the sawmill quest. I, ever the pragmatist, reminded him, "We already got one." A quick map consultation revealed that the sawmill was, inconveniently, located a long trek through shrouded lands. Craig, ever the optimist, pointed out that it was only a glide away. I, ever the realist, pointed out that our gliders were not, in fact, jet-propelled.

So instead, we returned to the scene of earlier chaos to find the capitol. "How hard can that be?" we mused. Well, as it turns out, it’s incredibly hard. Fugging sucks, really. Upon arrival, we discovered every door locked and, waiting for us, a giant purple death lizard.

While Dave nobly served as a distraction (read: became a corpse), Zaph and I peppered it with arrows from a safe distance, while Craig, as usual, was off on some solo side quest, searching for a back entrance. Through sheer perseverance (and the nearby flame shrine), Zaph ultimately took down the beast. Naturally, the death lizard was carrying the key to all the doors. Behind said doors? A trove of chests. Because, of course, that’s why we’re here.

And with that victory, we returned to Spider House, where a well-earned nightcap and a deep, dreamless sleep awaited.

Stay heroic, stay foolish.

I got a bad feeling about this

The emperor's new clothes

 The mighty giant purple death lizard.

Correct distance to fight lizard

With much fighting comes much repairing (So much repairing)

The Quest for Copper (And the Giant That Broke Us)

 This week, we set out on a mission to upgrade our gear by acquiring copper ingots. The plan? Simple enough: unlock the foundry, and to do that we needed to clear out an "bugbear" encampment, and take down whatever was in our way. Of course, with our group’s history of misadventures, things never go quite as planned. What should have been an easy win turned into a fight against two massive bosses—a giant with a big sword and a bugbear. It didn’t take long for things to go sideways.

The Giant’s Resetting Health – A Battle in Futility:

Our first big challenge was a giant near an ancient bridge, guarding what we thought was a hidden treasure. We had no idea that defeating him was the key to progressing the quest—so we spent way too long running around, searching for an item that didn’t exist while trying to keep the giant distracted.

We set up a plan where Myles took position in a tower, trying to lure the giant away so Dave, Zaph, and Craig could search the area. It felt like a solid plan… until it became clear that nothing was working. Not only were we dying repeatedly, but the giant had this lovely mechanic where he would retreat back to his starting point and fully reset his health.

After a few too many deaths and frustrations, we gave in and checked the internet. That’s when we learned the truth: we weren’t supposed to be looking for treasure. We were supposed to kill the giant.

Once we knew that, it still wasn’t easy. The giant was several levels ahead of us, and we were barely holding on. Myles had the ability to summon skulls to fight alongside us, and we just started throwing everything we had at the giant. After chipping away at his health, and nervously watching to see if he’d reset again, we finally got him to about halfway and realized—this is it, we’ve got him. If he’d reset again, it would’ve been heartbreaking, but this time he stayed in the fight, and we managed to take him down. It was a hard-earned victory, but we finally got the reward.

Facing the Bugbear – A (Surprisingly) Easy Win:

After the struggle with the giant, we braced ourselves for the next boss, a creature we’ve dubbed the “bugbear boss.” Given how tough the giant had been, we assumed this would be just as brutal. But surprisingly, the bugbear boss felt like a breeze in comparison. We figured out his moves—a stomp here, a dash there—and managed to dodge pretty well. Unlike the giant, the bugbear didn’t reset, which was a huge relief.

It turns out this fight was more our speed, likely because it was better matched to our level. Nobody died, though we took a few hits figuring out his patterns. After a few well-timed dodges and some coordinated attacks, the bugbear went down easily. Compared to the giant, this felt like a nice reward for all the chaos we’d already gone through.

The Group Dynamic – Organized Chaos:

After twenty years of playing these games together, you’d think we’d have the teamwork thing down. But truthfully, we’ve settled into a rhythm of organized chaos. The game allows us the freedom to explore, and it’s not uncommon for someone to peel off and investigate something while the rest of us stick to the plan—or try to, anyway (Not naming names, you know who you are).

When the big fights hit, though, we manage to rally together, even if it’s a little messy. We’ve learned to embrace our chaotic style. That said, after the experience with the giant and his frustrating resets, we’re definitely more mindful now. If a boss starts resetting on us, we know it’s time to rethink our strategy instead of brute-forcing our way through.

We also upgraded our gliders. Here's Zaph looking at a speck in the sky, which is Dave flying in. Now we can really fly so serious distance.

There was a lengthy scenario to get to Zaph's loot at the top of The Pillars Of Creation. The "Sabertooth tiger" was brutal, and not to be faced alone.