The Architect – Theme Song
One day, you’re high on the mountain peak
So high that the ground feels antique
Then the wind at your back brings ember and ash
And your whole proud house comes down in a crash
Was it planned at all, or just paint on a wall?
Any choices you wish you could reset?
I can’t comprehend—were there blueprints or plans?
And may I speak to the architect?
After the last “renovation adventure” (known locally as That Time Dave Accidentally Bulldozed Reality), Dave decided to do things differently. Responsibly. Sensibly. With permission.
“Hey Myles,” he called across the base. “Now that we’re part of House Atreides, don’t you think our home should reflect that? Maybe… some green on the walls?”
“Sure. Knock yourself out, go crazy,” Myles replied, not looking up from under the hood of his Thopter. It was the kind of distracted approval you give a toddler with crayons, not realizing those crayons are industrial paint sprayers and the toddler has a credit line.
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Phase One: Inspiration
Dave took this as divine sanction. He leapt into his Thopter and headed for Helius Gate, near the Pinnacle Trading Post. The Atreides outpost there was a cathedral of green-panelled glory—rounded entrances, bay windows, intricate webs of glass, basalt, and smug architectural superiority.
And then came the deal of the century: every plan, every blueprint, all for a mere $80k. That was 25% of the group’s funds, but Dave’s internal calculator immediately filed it under “bargain” and slapped the cash down.
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Phase Two: Materials
Back at base, Dave tallied the plastone: 9,000 units. Good, but not Atreides good. He needed more. The buggy was fueled, the mines were stripped, the refinery roared to life. Days later, another 12,000 plastone joined the pile. The desert sighed in resignation.
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Phase Three: The Madness Takes Hold
He started with the main hangar:
• South wall: ripped down, replaced with green Atreides panels.
• Two exterior walls: replaced with Atreides bay windows.
• Interior wall: mesh-panel walls, more bay windows.
• Door: upgraded to a Pentashield.
• Roof: new green Atreides roofing.
Then his own hangar: entire north wall became a bay window, new floors, all walls replaced.
Main house? All roofing replaced Atreides-style. Safety rails upgraded.
From there, Dave entered a fugue state:
• Pyramid of Power: upgraded.
• Traveller’s Outbuilding: added.
• Bastion: rebuilt from the ground up.
• Ramps: smoother, wider.
• External vertical walls: replaced with vertical-windowed Atreides walls.
• Crafting room: raised roof.
• Water refining area: expanded and hermetically sealed.
• Switchback: rebuilt entirely in Atreides style.
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Phase Four: The Reckoning
Myles finally crawled out from under his Thopter and looked around. “Some green paint,” he muttered, surveying the hangar that now looked like Frank Lloyd Wright had binge-watched Dune and gone feral.
“Dave, report to the hangar. ASAP.”
Dave arrived at a sprint, expecting maybe a collapsed roof—difficult, given it was a forcefield.
“I approved some green paint,” Myles said slowly. “Please explain what the hell is going on here?”
Dave flipped open his notebook. “You told me to knock myself out and go crazy. Ta-da.” He gestured broadly at the emerald-tinted imperial splendour.
“So it’s just this hangar then?” Myles asked hopefully.
“All the hangars,” Dave confirmed, “plus—”
“Stop right there. How much of the original building remains?”
Dave thought for a moment. “The foundations… well, most of the foundations. Oh, and the floor. Well, most of the floor.”
Myles closed his eyes. Somewhere, faintly, the theme song played again.
