Our noble band of adventurers—Dave, Zaph, Craig, and yours truly, Myles—set off once again, brimming with optimism and, as usual, a rapidly dwindling supply of skull bombs. We did manage to destroy three, maybe four shroud mushrooms, though Craig reminded us why this is never straightforward with the insightful observation: "I forgot they have a bunch of monsters around these."
Classic Craig.
He followed that up with his oft-repeated catchphrase, "I'm dead," delivered with his trademark mixture of surprise and inevitability. The night was also punctuated by my own profound insight: "Of course, we’ve all run off in different directions." Naturally, the rest of the group, from their shared corner of the map, replied, "It’s only one direction. The three of us are here, where are you?"
Ah, teamwork.
We could always count on Zaph for wisdom, though: "I will have the fancy pants," he declared, adding a touch of sartorial elegance to the carnage. But as skull-summoning is something of a lifesaver (literally), we found ourselves back at Spider House to make more bombs. Of course, being the resourceful planners we are, we were out of ingredients. This may have something to do with my tendency to toss skulls like popcorn at the cinema, a lesson I’ve been slow to internalize.
After some intense scholarly research (okay, a quick look-up), I discovered we needed ectoplasm fragments. Because why wouldn’t we? So off we went, rummaging through bone piles, eventually securing enough to craft a few skull-summoning bombs and, because you never know when you’ll need one, a skeleton key. As true adventurers, we then ventured into yet another unknown hallowed hall—because, apparently, one was not enough.
We scrambled across hills, finally setting up a charming little outpost overlooking what can only be described as the Valley of Death. Naturally, I asked, "What's the plan?" Dave, in his infinite wisdom, promptly hurled himself off a ledge into a swarm of enemies, shouting, "Follow me!" Like lemmings, we did.
Fast-forward a few centuries, and future archeologists are likely still puzzling over the numerous red death markers we left in that hall. Skulls were thrown, ectoplasm was sacrificed, and the evening ended with us thoroughly battered, bruised, and questioning our life choices.
To wrap things up, Craig suggested finishing the sawmill quest. I, ever the pragmatist, reminded him, "We already got one." A quick map consultation revealed that the sawmill was, inconveniently, located a long trek through shrouded lands. Craig, ever the optimist, pointed out that it was only a glide away. I, ever the realist, pointed out that our gliders were not, in fact, jet-propelled.
So instead, we returned to the scene of earlier chaos to find the capitol. "How hard can that be?" we mused. Well, as it turns out, it’s incredibly hard. Fugging sucks, really. Upon arrival, we discovered every door locked and, waiting for us, a giant purple death lizard.
While Dave nobly served as a distraction (read: became a corpse), Zaph and I peppered it with arrows from a safe distance, while Craig, as usual, was off on some solo side quest, searching for a back entrance. Through sheer perseverance (and the nearby flame shrine), Zaph ultimately took down the beast. Naturally, the death lizard was carrying the key to all the doors. Behind said doors? A trove of chests. Because, of course, that’s why we’re here.
And with that victory, we returned to Spider House, where a well-earned nightcap and a deep, dreamless sleep awaited.
Stay heroic, stay foolish.
I got a bad feeling about this
The emperor's new clothes
The mighty giant purple death lizard.
Correct distance to fight lizard
With much fighting comes much repairing (So much repairing)
